My situation was continually getting worse. My mother tried her best to find a way out without giving up. She consulted a medium about what happened to me. The medium told us that I had offended an evil spirit and it was not a big problem. She suggested to me to drink some tea made from joss stick ashes. It did not work.
My mother also invited a monk from Tibet to my house. He said it was because of the bad Fung Shui in my house that caused the problem. He touched my back with an unknown power. I could feel a great heat at my back. He said that I would be all right. But what was the outcome?
Then, we went to see the Bai Long Wang, a very well know man who is believed to have super strong spiritual power in Thailand. He told us that there was “ a mother with a son “ following us all the way. And at that moment, they were waiting for us at the entrance of his office. I am not as silly as this to believe such ridiculous things. So I asked him why they did not get rid of us and when did they start to follow us? He said, “It is not the time yet. They are “ evil spirits of trees “. You need to avoid all kinds of plants.” As there was no other solution, we followed his instructions.
Later, he came to my house and conducted a ceremony for driving out the evil spirits. They put Thai incantations on our door. He insisted that I had to sit inside a circle built with candles and should not leave the circle. I felt very uneasy and there was another power coming into my body, which was greater than the one inside me. I could feel that the two powers were fighting. I wanted to leave the circle but I did not. I also saw that Bai Long Wang was very exhausted. May be, he had already tried his best.
After that, not only was my situation not improved, strange things happened to me even more frequently. One time, I was like a mad man running down from the 10th floor to the ground in our building within just a few seconds. My family members were taking a lift trying to catch me but they were still not as fast as me. Fortunately, they informed the security guard to catch me and I was therefore saved. Another time, I held my mother’s neck and talked in an unknown language, which was not English or Chinese. I did know that I did this to my mother until my family members told me. It seemed that this was done by another person.
Also, another time, I was with my friend at my place. Then, we went out together. When we were waiting for the lift, I got a phone call and I saw the number was my home number. I told my friend that it was my family calling me so we headed back home. When we opened the door, we found something very strange. I started to realize that there should be no one at home ! We therefore ran away immediately. Although it happened many years ago, I am sure my friend would still remember this.
My mother knew a Christian friend at her work place. She knew my situation from my mother and desired to help me. My mother had been worshiping idols and she offered me to a Chinese goddess, Guanyin (a Bodhisattva) since I was very young. Because there was no way to help me, inevitably, she had to try Christianity. She talked to me about that many times but I refused. One day, she invited her colleague and three other church friends to my home without informing me, so I had to give some response to them unwillingly. I was not friendly to them at all and did not feel anything special when they sang worship songs. They asked me to pray with them and I just followed.
But, unexpectedly, when I tried to follow them saying, “in Jesus’ name I pray”, I immediately felt a power inside me stopping me to talk. I felt something was holding my neck not allowing me to talk. I was suffering and said, “No! No! I am in much pain! Leave me alone!” Then, I could not talk at all. The church friends urged me to speak out “ in Jesus’ name “ and I tried my best to do so, and I made it. After they left, I felt different powers inside me, making me sick. I didn’t have any solution.
I went on with my life without any direction. One day, I was drunk and was taken home by my friends as usual. Then, I was in bed. Suddenly, “I” woke up and knocked my face against the table corner near my bed. My hands hit on the mirror and broke it in pieces. At that moment, my blood was everywhere. My family reported that to the police. My family members, the police and the nursing officers held on to “me”. I was so strong that it was very difficult to stop me. After much struggling, finally, they were able to tie my hands and feet up and send me to the hospital. “I” was continually shouting and struggling for a while.
Then, “ I “ calmed down and after a while, “I” started to talk to my brother, “Brother, why do you treat me like that? Why do you treat your brother in this way? I am suffering! Please help me and set me free!” My brother looked at my eyes and listened to my voice tone. He realized that “I” was not normal so he did not release me. For a while, “I” started to shout loudly again.
Since I had a number of records for being hospitalized, my doctor suggested that after having had the operation, I should be sent to the ” sanatorium” again. But they could not force me to stay in there because I did not commit any crime. My family did not allow me to be sent to there again, of course.
Then after a while, I truly calm down and fell into a deep sleep. When I woke up, I felt extremely tried and strong pain with my hands. My face was also very painful. The only thing different was I realized that the evil power and the negative thoughts were not inside me anymore. I felt deep peace in my heart.
Then, a nurse told me that I was going to have an operation. I asked, “What is the operation for?” The nurse said, “Don’t you know that?” I really didn’t know why I needed an operation. The nurse told me that the operation was for rejoining my broken hand tendon. I was afraid of what caused my broken hand tendon. I did not know the reason until my family told me what happened!
You could not imagine how I could resist so many people with my broken hand tendon. What was the power in control of me? I and my family knew about that. This evil power deceived my brother by pretending to be pitiful.
I can tell you now that if it was not by God’s grace, I would have jumped out of the window and took my own life, and I would not be able to share with you about this witness anymore.
I was finally reborn again!! During the days staying at home for recovery, God was with me every day. The feeling of peace and security was so real. It could not be described by any word. After having received Jesus, I change a lot. My stubborn personality and hot-temper was disappeared.
I let go with my anger and bitterness. My Lord helped me to think through. I understand that if I am angry with every little thing, it will accumulate and become a huge hatred and bitterness inside my heart. That would break the peace in my soul and will damage my good nature. Therefore, I need to accept and forgive people when things go wrong. In this way, I will have fewer burdens in my life.
On the other hand, when our enemies are in failure and unable to regain their glory in the past, they have distresses in their heart. They would have no confidence. If at the same time, they need to face those people they hurt before, it is not easy. When I try to stand in their shoes, I can let go of my anger and hatred.
Regarding my brother, before I thought that there would be no chance to rebuild our brotherhood relationship. Now, when I think from another angle, I can understand that he might not be aware of what he said to me was hurting me. In our life, many people are not aware that they are hurting other people with their words, including myself. I am also thankful that it was because of my brother, I could get away from the ” sanatorium”.
My family also found that I am happier after I have received Jesus. I am also more forward looking with a clearer direction.
Heads up for next chapter: We need to put effort towards preserving the peace and security given by God. My job caused me going to church less and less. After having a spree, I was roused suddenly from sleep on the plane. What happened to me was even more terrible than before! Next Chapter (8): Going Astray
Mr. Ice Cream
我的情況一直向下，媽媽用盡她能打聽到的方法，不斷嘗試。她去找問米婆，那問米的說我了犯小人，沒大問題的，着我們燒衣紙和飲神茶，結果，當然是沒有用。
又請了西藏僧人來我家，他說是因家中的風水不好引起的。還在我背部發功，我全身感到一股熱力，他說以後便沒事了，結果呢？
後來又去見了泰國白龍王。他說有兩母子時常跟著我，還說這刻已在門口等着我。我也不是傻的，我問他，為何他們不幹掉我？何時跟上我的？他就說，還不是時候，還說他們是樹妖，所以所有樹木的植物，我都要回避。我只好照做。有一天還要在家中進行法事，在不同的木門上填上泰國符咒，要我坐在好多支蠟燭中間，他堅持吩咐我別要走出這陣。他一路唸咒的時候，我感到有些不安，和感覺到有一股力量，超越了那在我裏面的, 兩者似乎在抗衡着。我真的很想離開這陣看看有什麼，但堅持了沒有這樣做。事後，我也發現他好辛苦，可能真是盡了力啦。
之後我的情緒沒不但有改善，而且不可思議的事更為頻密。有一次，我像發了瘋一樣，在很短時間內由十幾樓狂奔到地下，家人連搭升降機都不夠我快，他們立時通知護衛不可給我逃脫！又有一次，我失了常地揑住媽媽的頸部，還說一些他們不懂聽的說話，不是英文，又不是中文，總之不知什麼語言。發生這些事時，我自己是豪不知情的，完全是好像另一個人作的，都是事後我家人告訴我，我才知道的。
又有一次，我在家中我和我的朋友在一起，然後我們一起出外，在等候升降機時，有電話致電給我，我看了來電顯示，原來是我家中的電話號碼，我便和我朋友說：『家人找我呀！』朋友就說：『那回去看看有甚麼事啦！』我們便回去，開了門，就發現不對勁了，這時才想起家中根本沒有人啊，何來會有人致電給我呢？於是我們立刻飛奔逃去！雖然事隔多年，我相信我的朋友也仍然記得的。
在媽媽在工作的地方，有一位是基督徙，她從我媽媽口中得知我這樣的情況，很想給予幫助。而我媽媽向來是不接受的，因為她一向都是拜神的，又曾把我過契給觀音。但因為我已到了很壞的地步，她只好連最不想的方法也一試。她跟我說了很多次，但我總找些理由去推擋。有一天，她唯有事先已約了她的同事和一些教會的弟兄姊妹，一共三人去了我的家中，我只好無奈地應酬他們。我用不客氣的態度和他們唱詩歌和禱告，我也不覺有甚麼特別。
但當禱告到最後那句『奉主耶穌基督名字祈求』時，我立刻感覺到有種力量使我不能說話，有東西控住我的頸部，不許我說似的，我好像啞了一般。我很辛苦，還說：『唔得呀！我很辛苦呀！你們走吧！』之後便停了下來。但在他們鼓勵之下，我終於說完了。在他們走了之後，這種令我很辛苦的力量還在，而這股力量和之前不斷突襲我的力量明顯不同，而我當然也沒有的解決方法。
還是迷迷糊糊的過着日子。有一天，我像平時一樣喝醉了，被朋友帶回家中，亦像平時一樣睡在床上。突然，『我』坐起了身，用臉部撞向床頭的枱角，立時血流披瞼！家人想立即阻止，但當時『我』的力量很大，還衝向洗手間，用手打破了很大塊的鏡子，這時的我，已四處染滿鮮血！家人報了案，警察和救護員也到了場，他們和我的家人合力將『我』制服，差一點也制止不住。幸好最終他們也能把我的四肢紮在救護床上送去醫院。到了醫院，『我』在被綁着的情況下，還不斷地掙扎，大叫大嚷，過了一陣子，卻又平靜下來。
之後，『我』和哥哥說 ： 『哥哥，你為麼這樣啊？你這樣對待你的弟弟啊！我好辛苦啊！請求你放開我吧！』哥哥覺得我的眼神和我說話的語氣，太不像平時的我，所以他沒有放開我。於是不久，『我』又照樣地大叫大嚷！
當時，醫院有我之前多次入院的記錄，醫生就建議待我做完手術立後，就把我送回那『療養院』。但因我不是犯了什麼法，他們沒有強制的權力，而我的家人當然也不會讓我再次進去！
再過了一段時間，我便真正平靜下來了，昏昏沈沈的睡了…….當我一張開眼睛，只感到渾身疲倦不堪，而我的手很痛很痛，我的臉也很痛很痛。而唯一不同的，就是我很清楚知道，我心中那股惡勢力和那股負面的思維，已經離開了我。我心中的深處，有一份深深的平安。
之後護士說要做手術，我問護士：『要做什麼手術呢？』她說：『你真不知還是假不知呀？』我當然不知道為甚麽睡醒了之後要做手術，於是她告訴我，我的手筋斷了，需要進行接駁手術！我當時都有點害怕，因為我不知為何和怎樣，我會把自己的手筋弄斷的！後來是家人告訴我所發生的事，我才知道的。
大家想想，我怎可能在手筋都斷了的情况下，還能抵抗這麼多人？那是什麼力量在控制我？我和我的家人是絕對明白的！還有，這力量欺騙的一面，扮作可憐的想騙我的哥哥！現在我能和你們說話，已是神大大的恩典了！如果當天，我只要向那窗走多一步，今天可能已沒有機會在這裏和你們說這見證了！
重生的感覺终給我遇見了！在我家中休養的期間，每一天都有主的同在，那種平安和安穩是很實在的，不能用言語去解釋的。信了主後，我亦改變了我很多，再沒有那頑強暴躁的性格了。
甚麼家仇怨恨也放下了。因為主助我想通了，如每一天都因小事變成小的怨恨，很多小的怨恨，就會積累成大大的怨恨和苦毒，而苦毒會打破內心的靈靜，亦會亂了本性。所以，我明白了一定要用包容和寬恕去對待人和事，這樣，身心的負擔都會減輕。
我又以另一個角度去看以前所謂的家仇怨恨。其實每人都會有風光不再的時候，當發生這情況時，他們一方面內心很沮喪，又失去了自信，但同時又要面對他們自己以前風風光光時，曾傷害過的人，這其實也不是一件容易的事。試想想，如果身份對調了，我又會怎樣？所以這些家仇都在我心中一一消失了。
而我的哥哥，我曾敢對手足之情再有任何的期望，但現在我又試從第二個角度去想，他當時這樣說，可能連他自己都不知道會傷害到我的。在生活中，很多人出口傷害了別人，但其實自己也察覺不到，包括我自己在內，也是如此。還有，不是他，我又怎能在那鬼地方，以歷史性這麼快的速度便逃脫呢？
而在我家人的心目中，在我信了主後，性格明顯變了，亦看得比之前遠了、通了！
下一集強勢預告：主給的平安和安穩，不是信了主便自動長留在心中的。工作使我漸漸越來越少回教會了。狂歡之後，在飛機上突然驚醒，比之前更恐怖的竟然重來！
下一集 別問我 是誰 (8) 放縱後的重來
兵奇臨
